Ho, ho, ho, jackasses.
So, Sam wanted to take the day off to spend the holidays "with his family" (read: at the track). Fortunately for you all, I am here to fill in. You have never been so lucky.
My work may be too hard, too real for your diluted minds to comprehend, but that isn't anything that I'm not already used to. For those who just can't take what I'm dishing out, there are three years worth of Sam's Christmas specials in the Features section to distract yourself back into your usual state of blissful ignorance.
Sam required that I mention he wishes a happy holiday to all those who celebrate it. What a softie, eh? Sad, really!