The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby Monkeychewtoy » Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:09 pm

eitlobsaboo wrote:
Joopac_Badur wrote:
Exploding Pigeons wrote:well maybe that wasn't really sour cream.

Oh it was sour alright. :)

This made my morning.

Once, I offered my leftover Wendy's chili to a ladyfriend. She accepted, but only took a few spoonfuls before setting it down in disgust.
"Not hungry?" I asked.
"It's salty," she replied.
"You're salty!" I shot back, mock-mockingly.
"No, you're salty," she rebutted, and a look of realization dawned across her face. She ran into the other room to break down laughing, leaving everyone asking my what she said. I explained that she had implicated herself in a horrible innuendo, and left it at that. I neglected to mention that she had only days prior been commenting on how much she enjoyed the taste of my :beef: in her mouth. She had quite a talent for fellatio.

I'm fortunate that I've never had to leave a woman on really foul terms, and have been able to maintain loose friendships with them all, but sometimes it becomes difficult to avoid missing them... Or at the very least, certain aspects of the relationship. Perhaps if there had been more animosity, I'd be better able to block out such distracting memories.

Hmm...

But, as T-Rex says, "Feelings are boring. Kissing is awesome!" So, back to the sexiness.
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby Tekkactus » Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:15 pm

Taking a break from Monkey's Sexploits for 5 goddamn seconds, I propose a discussion:

Schoolgirl Uniforms: Mainstream enough to be a legitimate fetish, or still kinda pedophilistic and creepy?
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby frazzledog » Tue Apr 06, 2010 3:05 pm

Tekkactus wrote:Taking a break from Monkey's Sexploits for 5 goddamn seconds, I propose a discussion:

Schoolgirl Uniforms: Mainstream enough to be a legitimate fetish, or still kinda pedophilistic and creepy?


oh it's both.

That's not to say that my fantasies aren't creepy either. But it's a fairly popular fetish.
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby Monkeychewtoy » Tue Apr 06, 2010 3:10 pm

frazzledog wrote:
Tekkactus wrote:Taking a break from Monkey's Sexploits for 5 goddamn seconds, I propose a discussion:

Schoolgirl Uniforms: Mainstream enough to be a legitimate fetish, or still kinda pedophilistic and creepy?

oh it's both.

That's not to say that my fantasies aren't creepy either. But it's a fairly popular fetish.

Agreed.

EDIT: Also, sorry about the story overload. I have a lot of stories, (not just sexual ones, either,) and a strange compulsion to tell them. I'll keep myself in check.

... That, or change my name to Slutty McSlutpants.
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby stock » Tue Apr 06, 2010 5:09 pm

No but Monkeysextoy.

Also? Skirts are the only thing I "get" out of the whole school uniform bit, skirts are awesome.

It's simple as that, it's simple as that, it's simple as that for your stupid ass.
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby Matador » Tue Apr 06, 2010 5:37 pm

No, sir. Skirts are cool, naked is Awesome.
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby eitlobsaboo » Tue Apr 06, 2010 9:01 pm

Matador wrote:No, sir. Skirts are cool, naked is Awesome.

On the contrary.. I think a little bit of clothing, such as the skirt or my favourite, knee/thigh high socks adds to the awesomeness that is the female form.
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby Matador » Tue Apr 06, 2010 9:45 pm

I don't disagree. Clothing helps move your eye abut quite a bit. I've found that a teddy gathered around a girls middle [as in no longer hanging off her shoulders] is quite attractive.

That was an off the cuff comment that was meant to sound witty moreso than it was to be complete truth.
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby Monkeychewtoy » Tue Apr 06, 2010 10:13 pm

I, too, avidly enjoy women in skirts. The schoolgirl uniform in particular holds a special place in my genitalsheart because, well, I went to a Catholic high school. When I was hitting puberty, my female peers were wearing schoolgirl outfits. It has to be forest green and navy blue plaid, though. Sometimes other plaids are cool, if they're part of a more punk-rock ensemble. But that green plaid, white Oxford shirt, and maybe a tie? Ooh! :cat:

Japanese schoolgirl outfits, on the other hand, I really only appreciate in the abstract. Sort of, "I respect the fact that I am supposed to find that attractive." But they don't really do anything for me in particular.

Oh, and knee socks. Oh holy hell, knee socks. And thigh-highs. Image

Open Letter to Ladyfolk: This skirt is cool and you should all wear it.

Sincerely,
monkeychewtoy.
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby Knight » Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:48 pm

I'm glad I don't have to wear uniforms anymore.

For school, I mean. I have to wear a guard uniform though. :|
stock: I also think I'm going to start saying delicious in really inappropriate situations.
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby ninja-pie » Wed Apr 07, 2010 3:06 am

Matador wrote:No, sir. Skirts are cool, naked is Awesome.

Compromise: No underwear under skirts.
Monkeychewtoy wrote:Oh, and knee socks. Oh holy hell, knee socks. And thigh-highs. Image

Seconded. For thigh-highs anyway.
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby eitlobsaboo » Wed Apr 07, 2010 4:30 am

Zettai Ryouiki: That is all.
Image
pie wrote:This thread is all Nerd, nerd, nerd, incomprehensible Eit ramble, nerd.
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby Monkeychewtoy » Wed Apr 07, 2010 6:26 pm

Knight wrote:I'm glad I don't have to wear uniforms anymore.

For school, I mean. I have to wear a guard uniform though. :|

Do... do you still have the skirt? :cat:

I'm fairly certain there's a niche market for 'schoolgirls' in full plate armor.
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby Matador » Mon Apr 12, 2010 1:27 pm

Felt this was a tweet worth sharin'
Penn Jilette wrote:Bullshit Season 8: We just had a lot of naked people licking a Volvo ("I said vulvA"). It was supposed to be funny and stupid, it was sexy!
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Re: The Sexuality Thread (NSFW)

Postby Monkeychewtoy » Mon Apr 12, 2010 3:35 pm

That's what happens when you give people power. "What's that? You're going to give me boatloads of cash and hundreds of thousands of viewers nationwide? Cool. I'm going to get a bunch of people to lick a car, naked."

Also, because now I'm all self-conscious about how I've represented myself, I'm curious: How many women do you think I've had sex with?

Drunken spanking doesn't count as sex.
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