Sam and Fuzzy Q & A: Arctodus Simusthe Edition
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"Did you know that other than two iterations of samandfuzzy.com, when you Google "Arctodus simusthe" the Wikipedia page is the only thing that comes up? AND there are no images! I believe that makes samandfuzzy.com the world expert on Arctodus simusthe!" -Justin
You're right, Justin! Those Google results confirm that this site is the foremost resource for information regarding the Giant short-faced bear, and not at all that I accidentally appended the word "the" to the end of its latin name because of a typing error. So I suppose I'd better start living up to my obligations and teach you all a little bit about Arctodus simusthe.
• Despite its appearance, Arctodus simusthe is not actually a bear. It is much more closely related to raccoons, badgers and African elephants.
• Arctodus simusthe earns it's "short-faced" nickname not from it's actual face, but from Roger Short-Face, the famous biologist.
• Arctodus simusthe is extinct. The last living specimen died in a bar in Reno in 1976.
• For many years, scientists believed that skeletal remains indicated Arctodus simusthe could grow to sizes of up to 17 feet long and 6 feet tall. Unfortunately, it turned out they had mistakenly placed the skull of a short-faced bear onto the body of a Dodge Caravan.
"Why did Hazel have such a big bomb in her car anyway? Does she also have guns, poison gas, and other things to brutally kill people?" -Tom
As Fuzzy insinuates, those explosives were leftover supplies from a safe-cracking gig.
It was a big safe!
"Why is the Features section so out of date? The most recent thing listed is the "First Noel" story, from Christmas '04. Where are the links to O-GAWD 3, 4, and 5? What about the Skull Panda and Bitey the Shark comics?" -Matt
Think of the Features page as a time capsule... a unique window back into the strange and exciting era when I remembered to update the Features page. That's what I do!
That's it for this week, team. See you on Monday!